Shame actually is counterproductive; shame induces in other people a defensive reaction and one might start to do things out of guilt instead of pure desire to be better and grow. But Inspiration is infinitely more successful in creating change. Having an understanding heart, listening, and doing the best you can actually inspire others to change from pure motives. We are inspired by what we see people DO more than what they say. As Gandhi famously said, “BE the change you wish to see in the world.” Stop telling and start modeling the change.