Anniversaries - 24/08/22 Needed a little brain dump and I’m sure others will relate to this one. Anniversaries, milestones, whatever you want to call them. Weird aren’t they. Do you celebrate it’s another year ticked off, panic that time is going quickly or meltdown because it even happened... who knows?! I’m finding it a little bit weird at the moment if I’m honest. This time, a year ago I was in full cancer world. Weekly hospital appointments, scans, hair loss, sickness, chemo, picc cleaning. Desperately hoping to stay alive and be cancer free. 24hrs a day, every single day, consumed by the disease taking over my body. Fast forward a year and here I am. Smiling. Loving. Living. It’s a strange out of body experience, looking back like it’s photos of someone else but also remembering so clearly each blog post I created. August 24th last year I was having round two of chemo. I remember the taste and the smell so much that I could be sick so I do my best to block it out. It’s mentally tiring at the moment, accepting it’s happened, looking back and being proud of how far I’ve come but also taking the time to gentle to myself if it makes me feel a bit sad reliving all these ‘one year on’ dates. I worry I’m a broken record talking about it. I don’t want to moan. I don’t want to be boring. However sometimes I can’t help it, without knowing cancer chat spills out my mouth, then it frustrates me that it’s still got hold of a part of my life. It will get easier. The more time that passes, we heal a little bit more. That’s the same with everything in life, but right now it’s quite raw and a little bit painful being reminded that I have had to quite literally grit my teeth, hold on tight and fight to be alive. Im going to have a cocktail tonight and toast to what a difference a year makes 🍸