It’s so easy to blame ourselves. When we realize we’ve settled for a bare minimum relationship and have suppressed our needs, desires, and feelings, a part of us feels guilty. “Why didn’t I speak up? I could’ve asked for something better, something different. They couldn’t read my mind.” We abandoned ourselves and our needs because we feared that if we spoke up about what we wanted or how we felt, there was a chance of abandonment. Rejection. We feared being “too much” or “not enough.” This self-abandonment is a form of people-pleasing, a learned behavior from childhood, according to psychologists, who say it’s about wanting assurance that they matter to the people around them. This low self-worth and self-abandonment is self-betrayal. And when we come out of it and open our eyes to what we’ve done, we feel shame. We blame ourselves for accepting a small, quiet love when we knew we deserved something greater. We accept the love we think we deserve. If this is your truth, please give yourself grace. Show yourself the kindness that they never gave you. You know what you deserve now, and that’s the most important thing. ✉️ words by me