Today we should be celebrating your 56th birthday. I should be calling you and showing you my new apartment and getting you a ticket to come hang out with me in New York finally. Instead I’m desperately clinging to all the cherished memories we got to have together and mourning all the plans we made that will never get fulfilled. Dad, you were my hero through and through. My greatest teacher from learning to juggle at 2am on school nights to the final advice you gave me: “Are you expecting people to be healthier than they really are?” You were the best dad I ever could have asked for. You made me believe the world was magical and that I could achieve anything I dreamed. I always hoped that when I was older I would have half of your creative genius, your spontaneity, your confidence, your ability to transform life into a never-ending adventure wrapping up the people who got to know you along the way. It’s so hard to find the words to express everything I feel right now and I wish more than anything you were here to offer your wisdom in how to deal with this. You will never stop being my idol and I’ll carry you in my heart forever. You were the ultimate ringmaster, a magical visionary, the person who understood me the most. I love you and I miss you.