Follow @dearsundaymotherhood for pregnancy, postpartum, and new motherhood writing, support, and education. — Excerpted from my latest story for SELF: I think there should be a new rule at baby showers: No more onesies. Okay, there’s nothing wrong with onesies, per se; I had plenty of them given to me. Babies do need clothes (albeit a limited amount). But what we fail to recognize when we curate baby registries full of expensive products we may or may not use and gift new parents clothing that their babies will outgrow in mere months is that the best gift a parent can receive is the gift of support. “Parenting is hard—and it’s not a solo sport,” Katayune Kaeni, PsyD, a California-based psychologist who specializes in perinatal mental health, tells SELF. “We need a team, we need community. New parents are often in a fog of learning their new baby and trying to sleep when they can. It can feel lonely and overwhelming. Any bit of help to reduce their stress or their workload can support their wellness.” You won’t find these seven gifts on most traditional registries, but talk to any new parent, doula, psychologist, or doctor who works with new moms and dads and they’ll tell you that what matters most in those early days is having a support network that shows up in some of these ways. 1. Be a helper, not a guest. 2. Support their sleep. 3. Ask them what their needs are—and be specific. 4. Don’t wait on them to ask for help. 5. Hold space without expectation or advice. 6. Honor cultural postpartum rituals. 7. Be genuinely curious. Tag someone who needs to read this in the comments. 🤍