I never intended on inspiring anyone but this sport and the way that I opt to narrate my life says differently. A few years ago, I was asked how does it feel to inspire thousands of people daily. My answer: A burden. I was scared to inspire people because I oftentimes find it hard to wow myself. I have moments where I dip into my recovering self defeatist mode. I question if I'm actually an athlete. Am I a good role model? Is it okay that I regularly use and normative profanity in my content creation? Am I pushing the envelope too much? And then there's moments where I force myself to quiet all of the questions and ask one major one: Why am I scared to be myself? I realize my entire life people told me to be everyone but me. And when I tried on their costumes, it didn't fit right. Sometimes I could put on their shoes but the cushions never grooved into my feet. The lack of arm space is restricting. My first few years, I was suggested to "tone it down" but I don't think some people and places knew what they were asking me to do. They asked me to not show up and just this potential resident that I didn't want to occupy this space. Inspiring myself is the best thing that I could've done on this journey. By giving myself permission to try hard things, not sticking to the safety nets of things guaranteed or what comes easy to me affords me the opportunity to pat myself on the back and genuinely say "you did an amazing job." And when that happens, I am able to receive the love and support from others that many of you send me daily. I never thought anyone would care if I talked about being a plus size Black women in sports - people care. I didn't think people would appreciate my dark humor and loads of random profanity - y'all rock with it. I remember being gaslit because my conditions aren't visible - you guys share your experiences with me. I am thankful that I gave and am giving myself room to say I matter because living my truth helps me remind others often that their stories are important. It doesn't have to sound like the start of an epic twisted story line; it just needs to be honest as you find yourself. T/Y for loving up on me. #runner #disabilitytiktok