Pictured above, a scene from last Friday’s corporate pep rally for a soon-to-be secret corporate announcement. Felicia Maddox, captain of the typing pool, expressed some mild confusion, “Will the announcement be a secret announcement once it’s announced? I’m mildly confused.” Nevertheless, Felicia’s unending positivity overshadowed her confusion as she trotted over to what she referred to as an “inspiring array of gelatin dishes.” After lighting the tiki torches, staff gathered to enjoy a feast of epic proportions - swan butter sculptures, overnight roasted kalua pig, and a “do-it-yourself” flambé dessert table. “If this is the rally for not-yet-announced secret announcement,” one said, “I’m excited for the announcement of the secret announcement - that rally will be out of this world.” The aforementioned not-yet-announced secret announcement is rumored to be shared this weekend, much to the delight and subsequent confusion of all involved.