THE DREAM WILL BE TESTED. . On this day 9 years ago I sat on a chair and pierced my skin with syringes full of hormones in an attempt to preserve my fertility. . I remember those days so vividly, the mental headspace the struggle took up, the physical pain that my bady was experiencing and the overwhelming feeling of what the f*ck am I doing here? . Fertility treatment is absolutely gruelling and can be such a heavy burden to carry, having it walk alongside a cancer diagnosis is simply mindblowing. . Every time I injected myself I wondered if the hormones would feed my cancer and kill me before I even found time to comtemplate the family I was trying to build. . Everytime I thought of a potential baby in my life, it was overshadowed by the fear of losing my own life to cancer and not seeing that child grow. . Nine whole years ago I could never have seen how the future played out. I could never have imagined almost losing my life to Heart Failure, almost losing my self to disease, almost losing myself in losing my Mum. . The years have been turbulent,they have been tough, they have been testing. . But nine years ago, I could never have imagined a life filled with FOUR miracle babies.I could never have imagined a family built through Surrogacy and Donor Conception. . I could never have imagined the stigmas I would have to smash, the obstacles I would have to overcome, the fear and grief that I would have to meet, head on, armour clad, heart on sleeve. . This has to have been THE wildest ride of them all. The one in which I found my way to my own happily ever after. . Our dream life doesn't simply land with us because we meditate and manifest. Yes,these tools are key, but what is crucial is the resilience and tenacity to stand behind those dreams, to be the driving force behind the story we want to see play out. To dive in, head first to all that we want to be in this world. . For me, that was always a Mother, so the celebrate my birthday with my miracle family, hugs kisses and cuddles galore was an absolute dream come true. . Hold on through the pain my loves, because the hope never fades. . 💛 K x . #surrogacy #deivf #triplets #4under4 #chapter43