I wasn’t going to say this but I’ve sometimes been so afraid to post things here. Afraid that people are thinking they don’t like me anymore. That watching me grow over the years and build a life that I dreamed of was going to trigger and I needed to make myself small to fit back to what I was or I would upset and be “told off” like a child. Imposter syndrome is real and I struggle with it constantly. I feel sometimes that I’m supposed to shrink back to the one that cried when she sat on the edge of the old downstairs bathroom tub with the door closed because as two freelancers we genuinely weren’t sure how to pay for the bills that kept piling in. When I kept posting anyway and playing dress up and posting on my blog every damn day because it was all I had to express what I really loved even though there was zero income in it and I was laid off from my job so bang goes that safety net. I was free falling without knowing when the next pay cheque was coming. But I still kept posting. This week I’ve been seeing this phrase a lot: New Year New Me. But it took me several to create that life my 2009 self wouldn’t ever believe would happen. To create comfort for my parents is not luck. It’s hard work. To be able to travel is not luck. It’s hard work. To renovate a home we once couldn’t afford to live in is not luck. It’s hard work. To become the woman that now inspires countless faces who look just like me. Is not luck. It is hard work. Now that I’ve written all of this, I realize that if the Karen from back then who sat on the edge of the old bath tub crying, could see herself now, she would walk up to me, hold my chin up she would hug me really tight and whisper “we did it Karen. We prayed for this. Don’t let anyone make you feel guilty for what we’ve worked so hard for. I’m so proud that we really did it. Now let’s keep going.” Same person but my what a difference we made. #NeverTheSameAlwaysMyself #Pradafragrances #PradaParadoxeIntense #PradaBeauty #GiftedbyPrada