#ThotNaysh, y’all know I love me some gabagool that’s been aged in an oak barrel and watched Walter Cronkite reporting on the Cuban Missile Crisis in real time cuz tenured peen has a phat Roth IRA, a quality mattress w/lumbar support, and falls asleep earls so I can watch light skinned Black women on “Real Housewives of Potomac” start fights in peace. BUT! Sometimes you need a youthful sauseege that has boners on deck & their Hulu plus live subscriptch in check. I’m talking about today’s #ThirstyThursday honoree: TV host turned actor-model @henrygolding. ⠀ When I interviewed Henry Ewan Golding at this year’s Vanity Fair Oscar after party, I thot to myself, “I’d gladly pay for his fyootch aka future divorce lawyer fees if it means I can go bobbing for apples on dem balls.” HALP! I know this is trifling cuz he’s classy AF & his wife was standing right there, but that’s how fine he is!! I was ready to risk it all & put Laura Dean from “Marriage Story” on retainer over this top-tier peen! Peep the stats: This Malaysian-British king is 6’1” (💧), has six pack abs that you can eat off of (*in Samantha Jones voice* “Talk about ribbed for her pleasure.”) and a sexy accent so seductive that he’d talk me into sending my life savings via Western Yoon aka Union. “The Tinder Swindler?” More like “The Dong Deceiver.” #WhereIsMyPulitzer. Anyway, HenHen is not just hot lewks! ⠀ He’s a romantic comedy king in “Crazy Rich Asians,” made his action mark in “Snake Eyes” and “The Gentlemen.” Models for David Yurman jewelry. He’s a badass as he documented his two month journ-journ of completing his bejalai - the Iban rite of passage into manhood - in the wilderness of Borneo for Discovery Channel Asia. And he’s a self-proclaimed honorary Jew. In an interview he said: “Golding is really darn Jewish, isn’t it? My grandfather during the war, was in London and as the story goes, he was possibly adopted by a Jewish family by that name. Out of respect, he took on their name and it was passed down. So, I’m proud to be an honorary Jew.” 🥺🥺🥺 ⠀ So congrats, Henry on being talented, a doting husband/father, & hot until the end of time. Welcome to the #TT Hall of Fame! Xoxo