While reading a story to my one child , I feel my other child kicking me inside and it all feels so surreal. This girl on her way feels extra special, as it was another year long of losses and failed fertility treatments. I saw every nutritionist, reiki healer, acupuncturist and hormone specialist in town, changing my lifestyle while looking for any reason it wasn’t working. I talked to many psychics (yes, I love a psychic) and she told me my Memaw was holding my baby in heaven and just didn’t want to let go. After a year, we finally decided to give IVF a try which I was very resistant to. We dug into our savings only to find that all of our 18 embryos died right after retrieval. It felt like the emotional weight of 18 miscarriages at once. Hitting rock bottom of the fertility journey I needed a huge break. A while later I went to Mexico with my family. We drank tequila for breakfast, I put down my phone & tried to soak up every moment with the baby I do have and let go a little bit. I was opening up to the idea that I’m lucky enough to be a one-child family and that’s not what I always imagined - but it’s going to be OK too. Maybe it was the tequila, maybe it was ‘divine timing’ or my Memaw was done holding on but I found out I was pregnant naturally two weeks later. It’s not easy for everyone but I also look up to women who keep going, who keep putting their bodies and minds through it all. I know so many of us would do anything for our children, unborn or not as it’s all worth it in the end. Cannot wait to love up this girl very soon 🩷 I’m here for any guidance in need for anyone at the start of their own journey. 📸 @nikkifinninphoto