Clothes used to be a friend, now their a foe... currently working through this traumatic space These past couple of months, I’ve realized how much of my identity is in my weight; how much of my worthiness is in my weight, how much I talk about weight.... It literally has me in a chokehold, which is new territory for me because I’m usually bounce back queen and have never truly felt uncomfortable in my body. However, lately it’s like the more weight I gain the less motivated I am to release it. It feels like there’s so many other priorities on fire and there’s just not enough water for weight insecurities... I have never been in this space with my body before and it makes me feel hypocritical for telling y’all to love your “right now body” but not addressing the feelings that y’all may have “right now.” At the core of it, I’m more disappointed that I didn’t stop myself from eating an extra Oreo or bag of chips when it didn’t feel like an addiction. I feel fearful that I’m next in line for the same generational diseases that plagued my elders. I’m terrified that I may never get that 2021 body that I loved so much back..... This is where I am at right now. I’m navigating self love in a body that on some days makes me wanna gag and on other days makes me so proud... So here I am navigating this traumatic space, figuring out how to fall in love with dressing myself again in a world that’s not so supportive for people with more weight on their bodies ....