AS HARD AS YOU CAN:[out now] I want to take a moment to talk about something very sensitive and personal to me. A couple of years ago I entrusted someone I considered a close friend w some very personal information about my std status. It was very hard for me to even be so vulnerable with them because having stds has been so stigmatized in our society that if you tell anyone, you are looked at like you’re dirty. And after telling them, I felt dirty. I felt unlovable. And I spent a long time feeling unlovable. I have herpes. It’s incurable, and it has made feeling desirable or even pursuing people romantically very difficult because more often than not, I am immediately:dirty. I think it’s important that when we speak about these things, we remember that we have no idea who is being effected by our commentary, our jokes, the looks we make, our shock and general reactions. What I’m telling you really aint nobody’s fucking business and im not here to be a spokesperson for change. I’m just fucking sick of taking on the self-loathing that other people put onto me. I’m revoking everyones power to make me feel less than for something that I should not be ashamed of or embarrassed by. This project is how I dealt with something I really had to deal with by myself, too embarrassed to explain in full detail. Too many secrets to keep. Anyways whatever. ‘As hard as you can’ refers to all emotion. All ways you can treat people.I hate trying to decipher if someone is a nice person who can be shitty or a shitty person who can be nice. That shitty version of you is in there, and the person you are pretending to be is gonna let the real you slip out casually. Same for love, ppl love half-assed. Do everything like you mean it; everything is so mid. People are afraid to be honest so a lot people end up getting hurt because of it. I’d rather you mean it from the very beginning. I dont need u to pretend for me, ur pretending to yourself. Thank u @Andy_morin & Thank u Nicos and Bonnie. Two of the greatest people I am lucky to call friends. I could not have done this without you. Mixed by @OrkKa Mastered by @DavidLittlemastering Cover art: @danicarobinson x myself