I’ve taken to riding Lime scooters all around Los Angeles. Not because I’m some sort of barefoot Greta Thunberg type, but because EJ and I were laughed out of several car dealerships when we asked if they had anything within our modest budget. Now is a famously fraught time to purchase a car. When I first started riding Lime scooters, I feared the momentum. They were too fast, too out of control. Now I crave speed more than anything and often find myself ending the day with a sore thumb from pressing the throttle, longing for just 5, maybe 10 more MPH. I have gotten quite good at riding “ballet-style:” that is, with one leg sticking straight out behind me, graceful and profound in its beauty. People are so impressed by this trick that they will take photos and gawk from their cars. I simply smile and hold the pose—this is Hollywood, after all. I wish I could say I wear a helmet 100% of the time, but really it’s closer to 60%. You see, when you wear a helmet you’re then left with the responsibility of caring for that helmet once you arrive to your destination. I hate having things in my hand, and I’ve knocked over one two many antique China displays with my helmet affixed to my tote bag. So I’ve taken to wearing my helmet at all times: at the farmer’s market, in the theatre, at work. I think we’re all a little safer that way. Finally, I’d like to offer a word of wisdom: fashion your tote bag into a backpack of sorts. It’s my personal belief that many two-wheeled accidents are caused by the abrupt change in balance caused by a shifting tote bag.