This is the hardest thing I will ever have to talk about. (Trigger warning) — I lost my mom recently. It’s been hard to put it into words. We live in a capitalized pharmaceutical world, where Doctors will write prescriptions without a diagnosis, just because it = money. But taking antidepressants when you do NOT have depression leads to complete restructuring of the brain. Serotonin syndrome made her hands shake until she couldn’t use them, but she kept doubling her doses and washing them down with wine, muscle relaxants, and 100s of dollars of weed per week. The high doses of Prozac combined with daily alcohol shrank the part of her brain responsible for memories, so at the end she forgot what happened in me and my sister’s childhoods. The part of her brain responsible for controlling and regulating her moods also completely deteriorated until no one could guess which version of her would be in the driver’s seat each day. She slit her wrists many many times over the last 5 years. Each time she used to share the pictures with me and my little sister. Then there was the time she disappeared from the house, wouldn’t tell us where she was, and then sent us a picture of a deadly combination of pills and told me and my 14 year old sister it was “our fault.” — The last day I saw her, she looked me in the eyes and told me intensely, “your mom is dead.” No words can describe how hard it has been to process this, but I know she is gone. I will always treasure the woman she was before the drugs took her away. I will honor that memory forever. And I hope that my art might create a place of solace for anyone who needs one Addiction is one of the hardest things to watch as it takes away someone you love. I’d like to ask that you PLEASE check on your friends. Check on the people you love. Addiction is a battle fought deep inside, and not everyone might see it at first glance. Sometimes, in the early stages, all someone needs is a friend who can see past their mask. So tell your friends and family you love them. Give them a squeeze while you can 🤍 Sending peace and love, - Clarissa