I used to be a terrible listener. I didn’t realize how much I was projecting my fears on Daniel until a few years into our marriage when a lot of damage had already been done. He felt unheard and misunderstood which was leading to a lot of bitterness in his heart toward me. Men crave honor and respect and my fear and projection of past hurt was causing him to feel belittled and withdrawn. As a result he also stopped listening to me. Because his core needs were not being met in our marriage he was also struggling to love me in the ways my heart needed to be loved. Women crave feeling prioritized and loved through emotional connection and Daniel was not meeting that need. We were in a pain cycle and we were both holding our ground out of pride. About two years into our marriage we hit rock bottom and God changed our hearts. We both turned away from our destructive ways and started to heal together. Fast forward 5 + years into marriage and we are thriving in the communication category. We listen to each other and create space for one another. I feel heard and loved and he feels heard and honored in our marriage. I say all of this to encourage anyone else who feels like they don’t know how to listen to their spouse or who feels unheard. There is hope and our marriage is proof that the dynamic can change and God can heal even the deepest wounds. It’s never too late to start breaking the pain cycle in a marriage and it’s never too late to start a new dynamic with your spouse. Helpful resource: One of my FAVORITE books at the moment is called the 4 Laws of Love by Jimmy Evans and there are some incredible chapters about communication + every other topic that can be hard in marriage. 🤍 #healthymarriage #marriedlife #beating50percent #marriageadvice #happilymarried #marriagetoks #christianmarriage