Throwback Thursday to about 2010 a photoshoot I did with @jamesmankoff This was a time when I had already been crushed a few times, but I was so optimistic that it would work out. I was just starting @bloomandplume I had been growing out my hair so I wore a turban (6yards of cotton that I hand tied every day and it never touched the ground). I was self conscious about my body, but didn’t want to fear the beauty that could be created with it. I didn’t think I was particularly lovable and after 10-11 years of therapy I am still single and struggle with self worth even though my outward accomplishments are grand. The irony of the more you achieve the more alone you feel, the more work you do on yourself the more you feel like an outsider. I look at myself in this photo and can see pride for who I am, a out black man, but I also see deep in my eyes the look of wanting to be excepted and loved for who I am (thinking about this in a more romantic context as i am still struggling with that). In our ever evolving environment I just didn’t know that the world would get increasingly more toxic to the levels that it is. It is becoming more difficult to stay the course because of all of the hectic energy in the world, killing black folks, making excuses for white folks, trying to control women’s bodies when men can’t control their own. Capitalism is really highlighting the extreme of the haves and the have nots... This photo just gave me some time to reflect and thought I would share... also I have been on the toilet for the last 26 mins and my leg is starting to fall asleep #whatfortylookslike #staythecourse #blacklivesmatter #bodypositivity (can’t believe I just used that #) #blessed (believe that one)