My grandparents are divorced but both of them live in Mississippi. Last week after the book festival I visited them. In 1976 they were one of the first Black families to build a house in an affluent neighborhood outside of Milwaukee called Mequon. The house in the picture above is the house they built. It sits next to Lake Michigan. 5 bedrooms. Circular driveway. Real bougie. In 1976 they spent $62,000 to build that house. When they got divorced they sold the house. The divorce was in short because my grandfather was a monster. The old folks never let us in on all the details but I know my grandma had to go to the emergency room at least once. My mom and her brothers didn’t have to wear their gym uniforms in elementary school because the marks on their legs made the gym teacher uncomfortable. In 1976 They didn’t have language for the type of manipulation and emotional abuse that existed in tandem with the physical but it ran rampant. I have known my grandfather my entire life and have never known this side of him. I don’t think the monster is gone, I just think age slows the kind of force that is maintained through physical exertion. I believe if he could still control everyone around him by imposing his strength he would. But he can’t. He’s 84. I can tell that’s scaring the shit out of him. My grandmother talks about death like they’re old friends. She talks openly and honestly about the saddest and happiest times of her life. She has told me straight out “I have worked really hard to be at peace with everything and that which I’m not I pray God has mercy on my soul.” My grandfather still talks about international trips he’s going to take. One day. No day specific. That house is now worth one million dollars. Isn’t that crazy? My family isn’t hurting for money but like most Black families generational wealth isn’t as easily obtained as it is for others. It just kind of feels like we missed out simply because my Grandfather was hurting and he needed to make sure everything hurt around him too. I don’t know. Misogyny, along with being deadly, destructive and cruel, is also expensive.