The morning of May 20th we woke and Merlot was extremely lethargic, but there was a peace in her eyes. An unexplained knowing. She knew it was time and I was in absolute denial of it all. I took her to the vet and they confirmed my greatest fear. I believe Merlot knew she was on her way out from the moment she first got sick in late April. When she came back from the ER she would sit and stare at the door if Jake or I left the room. She wanted all of us to be together. That was the only way she would rest. So we spent an entire weekend in bed with her. After that she made a pretty miraculous recovery and was doing well for about 15 days after her blood transfusion, but then hit a rapid decline. The night before she passed I had a dream that all my dogs, deceased and alive, we’re all sleeping around me. I’d like to think they were all coming to get her. I’d like to think that’s why she was at peace in knowing it was time. She’s be with her brother and sister again. I dressed our living room full of white flowers and white candles. I laid with her on my chests and sang to her and reminded her of all the stories about us. I then made her a steak for her last meal. She ate the whole thing like a true little French girl. I was so uncertain about everything. Was this the right time? How do I play god in this situation? Does she want this? The only thing I knew for certain is that she would want us all to be there. So Jake flew in from San Fran to be there in her final moments. The moment jake walked in her little face lit up. The family was together she was at last at peace. We held her little body in between us and told her how much we loved her. Merlot took her last breaths at 8:32 pm....